yep, very difficult. couldn't explain that one to a lot of people which they took that and twisted it making me feel guilty. i already feel guilty because i didn't leave sooner if i had the life skills 10 yrs ago, i would have left then. my ex therapist felt it was easy to get up and walk away - for some, that is easy for them to do but not when you are groomed to be codependent forever.

yea, i still get that. if it is so bad why didn't you leave sooner or why do you still live there? hated those questions, but like i said, explained about being groomed to be codpenednet and being told having a job as an adult is selfish same with wanting independence wouldn't that make a person stay? that's how one person gains control over another. i always tell this to people u know, there are abused wives who wanna leave but who will help them? that is the key. when i was a kid, i wanted to leave but not be on the streets! i made that clear to people where i live in AZ not many good resources to help abused people.

hence is why i couldn't leave i had too many people who didnt wanna give me the resources to leave, instead of fighting with me about it, they refused to give me any info telling me "i am breaking up the family how dare you." the family was broken before all of us were born and that so called marriage people say my parents have was doomed on day one in the mid 60s. people refusing me to get info and get help, wow isn't that abusive!? do i regret not leaving sooner? of course, but i don't need people using that against me 24/7! look at my mom, both parents are now 67 and 68 yrs old. she screamed how she wanted to leave my dad but is still there today they both have a miserable marriage.

she was gonna leave in 97, brother paid for her lawyer, dad cried on the phone claiming he was gonna blow his head off, and she took him back to give him one more chance (she will tell you she never said that). has he changed at all? no, and don't intend to! he makes sure she doesn't ever have money, gee the same mistreatment i get! my parents have no idea i started working, been at my new job for now 2 months but need more money to move out.

people don't think i am in a very difficult spot like my ex therapist disagrees and my social worker agrees it is very difficult. i didn't have any siblings close in my age the others are 14 and 18 yrs older than me didn't have any role models for myself my parents are such a very poor example of role models!

i like how the doctor shut up after you said that to him. i said a lot of crap to my ex therapist and she shut it too or tried to use something else which i deflected and tore it apart. my ex therapist said the same thing i can get over it if i chose to yet she said i have symptoms of ptsd and i said being groomed codependent since out of the womb, how is it easy to just get over it? no answer.