Hi p1994, Yes, you're right there are a lot of people who don't really understand SI or have preconceived/wrong perspectives about it. But as there is a lack of "education" in that area, sometimes it takes answering those uncomfortable questions to help people understand/to educate them, that's if the person really wants to understand or offer support.
I'd say that you and other people on here are really "breaking down barriers" though in just telling it as is is. And you've got to be making a big difference to people out there in making them feel less alone, understood, accepted, and in educating people!!
And back to.......It does sound like you've got everything piling up on top of you but (and I know this is going to sound really hard!!) could you separate the things going on for you a little more? And try to find ways around each, one at a time?
I mean it's got to be really painful to keep seeing your "ex" with things between you really fresh in your mind. But the person you're actually seeing isn't the one you fell for/still love. The one you're seeing didn't actually match up to any of that, and you deserve more!!
There was probably a part of her you felt really close to, you needed/wanted her to be, but that isn't the "whole" of her. In the "bigger picture" she just "isn't all that". You deserve better!! It may be as much about giving yourself time to really see that, work through it and in time when/if you're ready (no rush!) finding someone "right" for you. One step at a time........
As for studies, well that can just be about doing all you can do. And if you're not doing as well as you think you can/should be doing, well give yourself "a break", you have got a lot going on for you, you're not going to be at your best. Who (certainly not you!!) should be faulting you for that?? The main focus should be about you, and you gradually feeling better in/about yourself. YOU and your "wellbeing" should the most important thing in all of this.
But hey, if you could get a bit more support from the teachers/tutors in the actual studies that wouldn't be a bad thing. I'm sure there are going to be/have been other students asking for a bit of extra help. And if they've got it, why shouldn't you??
And being happy again: with what you've been through, are going through, that might take time but that doesn't mean that it won't happen. You have been working through a lot of things, it might not feel like it, but you have. And you have come a long way. Give yourself credit for where you're actually at, and allow it to keep you on the path to working through things to that goal.
You might need more help e.g. professional help towards that goal, but don't be afraid to ask for that. You deserve it!!
Alison