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It appears you are so fixated on this that it gets in the way of your life. Something you cannot have always gets over blown in your head. Get it over with (Ok, I don't quite mean it like that)...if you have to pay for it good - does not matter what anyone else thinks. This is YOUR LIFE...you get to decided who YOU want to be..the people that think you are a loser do not matter in your life..unless you let them
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany
“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge
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