Sometimes, ChaoticMess19, no matter how hard we try, or how much we want things to work out, they just can't; & the best thing we can do for ourselves & everyone around us is to acknowledge this & move on. Have you & your husband tried counseling, individual & / or marriage? Do you want to? If you've been cheating on him for the length of your marriage, & he's checking out singles dating sites on the internet... maybe it's just time to "call it a day". Hope things are going okay for you.