I've been unheard by most of my family for my entire life, but only realized the depth of the problem -- that their treatment of me qualifies as emotional and verbal abuse -- a year or so ago. Since then, I've been reading up on abuse like crazy and telling myself over and over again not to let their behavior get to me, not to expect anything positive from them. But sometimes I can't help feeling so hurt and sad. Like today

Yesterday I was watching the movie Ever After, with Drew Barrymore. It's a modern-day retelling of the Cinderella story. There's a scene towards the end, where Drew's character Danielle is talking to her wicked stepmother, played by Anjelica Huston. Danielle tells her stepmother, "You are the only mother I've ever known" and asks plaintively is the stepmother ever loved her at all. The stepmother replies, "How can one love a pebble in one's shoe?"

That quote pretty much sums up my place in my family. I'm trying to get over it and build good relationships with other people who are willing to hear me and treat me like I matter. But it seems like a ;long, hard road sometimes.