I came from a abusive background and spent many years doing anything to be needed,feeling that I was so damaged I was lucky to have anyone.I had some boundaries and was getting better with therapy but then married some one who I knew was abusive just to be with someone in a scenario I felt familiar with.I finally divorced him, and am just learning to be with people who won't abuse me.I think you're frightened like I was dear, but you can do it,you are stronger than you think.