i agree very very few cases have i seen/heard/read about an abuser getting the proper help and being sorry from the heart. my ex therapist said they have choices to change and i said yes, we all have choices to do xyz but how many of them are going to repent? it's like a guy who cheats on his wife/gf, if he is still cheating on other women, when will he change? the problem with her (ex therapist) she places too much hope on abusers that they are gonna change i said my sister is 45 and brother 41 when have our parents changed? that's many more years of being absent from your children and not caring and those are years you can't get back.

she is a mom with minor children, but still she should at least try to understand that part. i see zero changes and narcs don't ever change! she said they do or they can try, i said how many studies have you read where a narc has sincerely changed? never! so, without forgiveness, i am hoping that i can move on without doing so. i am the type who dwells over the past as i never been the type to grieve and move on any time someone mentions the past it makes me dwell on it or get super angry about it.

my sister told me she forgave mom and dad for her sake but i don't know if my brother did or not as he don't talk about it. he doesn't really dwell on the past neither does my sister.