Yes it is traumatic to go through these things so late after their occurrence. The best thing I can suggest is to be gentle on yourself. Everyone grieves in a different way and it takes time, sometimes repeating the steps of grieving as we adjust.
I would suggest you read some of the work by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross; On Death & Dying comes to mind.
I delayed grieving more than once and it is hard to explain to anyone why it is hitting me Now, which is why I know it is important to allow yourself to grieve as you are able and not on some external timetable.
Best to you ~