I'm not sure if this is a bipolar trait, or just a trait of my own personality, but it seems like I change what I want to study/do for a profession extremely often.

Theatre has always been #1 but I'm not always sure I'd be able to do that as a job without needing a second job to pay the bills.

In 2009 I started university in Social Science. I was planning to become a psychologist. But in my first year I took a lot of random courses and in the first two years I wanted to, sometimes even tried to change my major to Social Work/Nursing/Archaeology/Anthropology/Nursing again/Social Work again/Religious Studies (random manic impulse)/Indigenous Studies

After the first two years I changed my major to a combined honours in Music and Theatre and I'm happy here, somewhat, but I'm struggling to manage my bipolar disorder in a university environment. In 2012 I dropped out and came back, in 2013 I dropped half a year and came back. Both times, I was hospitalized.

I'm starting to think that A) While theatre is my fiery burning passion and when I'm doing well I actually think I could make it professionally, B) it's kind of risky.

I'm thinking of switching from university to college, because in Canada, colleges tend to be more applied, more skills based. I was planning to do one more year at university and apply to the theatre program at a couple of colleges. But if I don't make it in professional theatre, I feel like my only option is to teach, and I don't want to do that.

I found a program at the college in the city I already live in, Child and Youth Worker, and the website says job prospects include working with youth mental health and LGBT youth, both things I'd really love to do. And I could even include drama - I'd love to do drama groups or choirs with young people with developmental disabilities, or youth with mental illness. That was the aspect of social work that I always felt drawn to.

I've talked about this with my dad and applications are still open - he thinks with my several years of university it should be pretty easy to meet the application requirements, and I intend to do it part time and partially online, because my bipolar doesn't play well with full time classes. So I could potentially start this in September.

It's technically not goodbye to professional theatre. I'm 30, I have lots of years to do that if I can. And whatever job I have, I will still be writing, acting, singing in my spare time. It's just so hard to make a choice, while wondering if you're closing the door on something even more amazing.