Thank you for your words they are helpful because your reply is helping me to think/process! And yes it is hard identifying triggers. I am noticing though that I am highly reactive when I notice someone is even just a little upset. I'll go overboard and then a recording in my head will turn on and I'll start to think if I've done something wrong and then I shut down. So I do not do well with confrontation of any kind (a complete 180 from when I was younger: when I was about 3-6 years old I was known to like hurting other kids) and as my partner says I have a complete emotional shutdown or 'stonewall' him when he is trying to express his feelings. He calls it my 'blank face' and that I just am expressionless. On the other hand at times I feel like I have no control of my emotions around my partner and its emotion overload. Which is why I know I have to figure out what these triggers are, by exploring my past traumas/experiences, and where they are coming from so I can have healthier relationships.
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Originally Posted by LaborIntensive
I came from a great deal of fighting back and forth with mom and dad too. It's hard to train yourself to see what the triggers are when your interacting with someone. I notice that I shy away from loud sounds, violence of any kind and in a relationship I will rather leave and never come back to a woman who decides to start yelling or acting in a strange way with me. This way I avoid hurt and go back to what I do best which is living alone.
But we are all so different as human beings that the only good rule is to do unto others always. I always treat people as I want to be treated and when that fails I walk away from them or the situation. Perhaps this is the "wrong approach" but I know that while everyone cheers watching a street fight I am the guy who wants to break it up (did it in school) or I walk away knowing that most people are utter fools.
I don't know if this helps but I congratulate you on wanting to see these issues and working on making yourself better in interacting with others. Be forgiving, listen and be sure to be there for the ones you love. At the same time be strong, stand for yourself and never go on the attack.
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