hey man, i know exactly what your going through, i have been suffering with hocd for the past 5 months and its a living hell. it can confuse us like crazy and make us think some weird things. i know before all this started ive been crazy about girls my entire life but now i doubt all of it, its like my mind is telling me i had crushes on guys when it is all false memories, i hate it, i could never see myself being in a relationship with a guy it just freaks me out. i hope we can get over this too , id love to just live a straight life, and also the things you did as a kid, its normal man, i went through it too. don't dwell on it! you should try seek help from a psychologist or anyone in the mental help field.