I can also relate to this as well. Parents divorced, dad was alcoholic, didnt receive enough love or hugs or affirmations either. Focus was always on what was wrong with me instead of praising the good in me. We were not really allowed to talk about feelings, so I suppressed them. Then when I was an adult, I didn't know how to express myself well...I didn't know how to deal with all the anger. I have love in me, a great deal of it, but I'm. So messed up in this illness it robs me of attaining happiness.