Waterknob, Labor Intensive and Open Eyes-

Thank you so much for your replies. It means a lot when other people get you.
I slept all afternoon, which is the best healing tool I have sometimes. I realized I have to let all this go. Most of my adult life I've felt like I have this neon sign on my forehead that alternately flashes DOORMAT or PREDATORS WELCOME.
My prospective roommate is supposed to bring me half of the deposit tomorrow. If he goes back o his word I'm screwed seve ways to Sunday.
But he was supposed to call me today and didn't. But if I stress anymore, I thik I might actually explode.
I can actually see little pieces of me dangling from the walls and the ceiling and all over my new leopard bedspread. Screew that. I really like that bedspread.
If I have to lose my place, I can put all my things in storage and live in my van. Shelters don't take pets.
Have faith, old girl. Believe. Open yourself to the universe. Trying to believe. After all, my higher power has bee guidig me so far.