wow dalila I've asked myself these same questions. T only made me angry once in her presence yet I can go away from therapy and become angry, but when I see her am unable to tell her.....
You've made some very valid points in your original post and you've asked some interesting and key questions:
............."My reaction was to get upset with ‘those people’ who had been angry with her. I wanted to protect her."............
Have you thought, or could you admit this to her? Her answer may surprise you.
..........................."I have felt Scared to death of her or terrified that she is going to abandon me once she really gets to know me, but not mad at her or her words. Even when I have felt misunderstood or pressured there has been no anger. I see her in 5 days and I have not really been able to work much on the ‘homework’ she gave last time. I am so afraid she is going to get tired of my inability to live what I have learned and internalized. I am tired of my body and brain digging up the past – we have worked on it and worked on it. I feel like she is trying to push me out the door and I just keep scrabbling backwards away from it."...................
I felt this same way.....I was "stuck" and so was my t. She nevered wanted me to leave and I bet your doesn't either. She probably doesn't know "how" to get to you and you may be leaving very little room for her to move around. These sentiments clearly show to me that you still need eachother. Can you write this or tell her what you've just said here? Maybe print off your post....I think it's a necessity for you if she needs to know where your head is at. Then, she can help you incorporate what you're unable to utilize. I've been going two years and have just hit this wall and have just said, what you said above. Try talking and explaining this. It will help immensly.
(((((((((((((((((good luck)))))))))))))))))
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