Sophia- I TOTALLY understand the feelings as I just got out of an abusive relationship myself. He was emotionally and once in a while physically abusive to me. It is SO hard, but in the end, for the best. It takes a lot of courage and inner strength to get free and stay free of someone who doesn't treat us with love, honor or respect. I am SO lonely right now as he has literally been my entire life for 3 1/2 yrs and I no longer have many friends. I have no job anymore either due to my losing job after job from being sick too often from living with him. No, he is not a total monster either, and I share in the responsibility for choosing to stay with him, but I'm re-learning that I can free myself of the guilt and shame and sculpt a new life of MY choosing. You CAN do it...survive this and find the joy and peace that we all deserve. Keep on keeping on and in time you WILL feel better!! Much love <3