Hi pompeii, I am sorry you didn't get the response you needed from the helpline. I'm guessing that the woman left you feeling like you were doing something "bad" to yourself on top of the feeling that you already had, that something bad had already happened to you/was happening for you.
I'd say that she was trying to check that you weren't in any immediate danger and assessing the risk level of you harming yourself (and perhaps went a little "overboard" on that?).
But really well done on reaching out for that help, that would have been a massive step for you, right? And it must have taken so much strength for you to do that!!
Never (!!) feel/ashamed bad about having tried to reach out/reaching out for help, regardless of the response you get, you deserve empathy, you deserve support, you deserve someone to be there for you in it all.
You are right though, sometimes there isn't anything specific someone can say to make things "better", and it can take a lot of time to work through things and find a better way forward. But to begin with it can help to know that someone understands, that someone cares, that you're not on your own, that someone else is there to "share that load" as far as they can and sometimes to give you that faith/hope that you can recover/survive/be you in time.
[Will attach some more helpline/contacts at the bottom of this for you to try].
And you know you shouldn't have to carry the burden of what's happened to you in this way (A lot easier said than done I know, but.......). You did nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all!! It's the people who "mistreated" you who should, by rights, carry that shame/distance from others/pain they caused, not you.
And you really need to believe that you are so much better than/more than what happened to you. It doesn't have to define you, it's taken enough away from you already, why should it/they be allowed to keep on taking?? It/they shouldn't!!
And all the help you can get with that.........You didn't cause any of what's been going on for you, they did.......now it's time to start, bit by bit, reclaiming the life that's rightfully yours/the life you want with support.
It might not be easy, it might be a long road, but the first step can sometimes be the hardest to take, and you've taken that (!!) just by sharing what happened and where you're at right now!! Keep talking, keep sharing, things can get better, you deserve that!!



Alison

Some links to try:
Contact Crisis Hotline | From Breaking Point to Turning Point
Contact USA * Someone to listen, someone to care.
https://www.imalive.org/
Mental Health Hotline Numbers and Referral Resources - HealthyPlace