It's difficult for me to explain...I'm not sure why I"m depressed. But yeah, you're right, I have to not spend so much time with her. It is extremely difficult. She has a difficult time just waiting for the weekends. Sigh... even just talking about the whole thing now makes me even more depressed. Ugh I hate my life. It depresses me that she would put herself into a situation where she would have to be so drunk that she doesn't care about what she's doing to have sex. And I'm a very jealous person, I don't know what it is but I feel jealous that she would let a guy who is no good do that.

She doesn't think sex of as big a deal as I do. It is important to me, I think it should be something special. She always tells me, "its just sex". I don't know why but I am disturbed by it.