I think anxiety is personal; what upsets one person does not necessarily upset another. My husband is rarely upset which helps/calms me enormously (sometimes :-) I have a vague hierarchy of what scares me and work on defusing the lower ones, working my way up. I am pretty good about avoiding the higher up ones until they become my lower ones. Even the lower ones are "scary" but the payoff is greater for mastering them versus failing to master them.

I'm reminded of when I had to take the train from D.C. Union Station to New York City and spend two nights alone. I had never been on a train, never been to New York, never traveled stayed alone, etc. I "cleverly" went to a travel agent to get me an inexpensive, safe hotel in an all right neighborhood, etc.; it ended up being a hotel for transients and I spent a rather scary night with the sound of arguing and bottles breaking in the room next to me, etc. I got a little sleep but woke really early and wanted to get out of there so I'm walking the streets of New York 6:00 a.m., barely light out yet, felt like I was being followed and finally found a diner sort of place to eat breakfast and couldn't figure out what the weird women at the door were there for (was kindly laughed at when I got home and told they were prostitutes, which made sense in hindsight; I was a tad ignorant/naive at 26 still). I went to my convention and it was horrible so I decided to go home early instead of staying both days, etc. When I got back to Union Station, D.C. I was extremely surprised at my euphoria and feeling I could do anything and, instead of getting a cab to take me all the way home because I was afraid of buses, I got a bus AND asked for a transfer (one of the things I was afraid of, asking for a transfer/changing buses correctly, etc.); you could have taken me down to SE and I would have happily gamboled in the streets. . .

The best part of that is that it stayed. Only a couple years earlier I had gotten my job down at Farragut Square (had been working at the Pentagon, driving myself alone in my car) and had had to take a day off work before the interview to get the job in order to take a bus down, find how to "do" that, where it was, scope out the place so it would not be too overwhelming when I went for the interview. The bus was a straight shot down Connecticut Ave., I just lived in Cleveland Park, a mile or two away. But the bus worried me then. Never again after manipulating the train and overnighting alone in New York The lesser of two evils looks pretty tame if you are stuck with the greater one.