There are many men who cannot tell you what they want or need. I have known so many who are repressed both sexually and verbally. They will do whatever society tells them is normal even when internally they feel much different. I am not sure why this is and why the "heard-mentality" is so strong with most men.

All you can do is communicate your needs and his own so that you two can come to an understanding (if one is to be found). Have you discussed this over a dinner and probed him to see what he expects or what might be causing this to happen?