For me, having the diagnosis was somewhat of a relief. It finally explained so many messed up things in my life and gave me the hope that those things can be made better. While I still have to take responsibility for my actions and decisions, it at least let me see that I'm not necessarily horrible or crazy and also not alone in my struggles. In these respects, knowledge really was power for me. I don't know if you are able to see it like that or not.