Hi pompeii, if people have told you that you seem emotionless there's a maybe there's a chance that's because you've felt that that's the appearance that was expected of you, that's the "face" you've felt you've needed to put on or because you were afraid that if you let the barriers down.....? Well you're human, so let's break that "myth" going on just a little to start with, hey?
If there are people around you who may be able to understand just a little you don't have to come right out there and tell them everything just like that. I'm sure that would seem so hard to do. You can lead up to telling them things in conversations to get more comfortable in talking to/and trusting them. Perhaps put somewhere into some conversations something's like "Yes, I haven't had the best time growing up, I kind of prefer not to talk about it, but it wasn't easy, and.......(lead on to something else)", "You know I can relate to people who have a hard time getting by socially (??) I struggle with that myself sometimes, but it helps if..........", "You know, I'd like to be feeling that way too, it's just that my past does kind of get in the way at times". And when you're ready you can go into more detail with them if you feel able to.
Then if there are people really close you can always say something like "Look I've been finding it really hard dealing with some of the things that have happened to me in the past, it would help talking about them if you could just spare some time to listen, I'm not looking for answers, just to talk a bit......"? and see where things go from there.
Just try to talk and let things out in your own time, at your own pace, in your own way. You do have control in exactly how you want to talk about things. Don't feel pressurized in any way. It's your "story". Even rehearse what you want to say beforehand so as you're not feeling like you're thrown in "too deep", too soon.
As for things that effect you on a day-to-day basis though I'd see nothing wrong in just coming out and saying things like "Look I feel really uncomfortable with you doing/saying things like that, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't".
And just remember that although people around you may seem like they've got no real problems there may be things some of them aren't talking about. They may be more understanding than first meets the eye if you can start talking to them on a more "personal" level, and that needn't even be so much about yourself to begin with.
As for talking with helplines or professionals, well they are going to be trained to support you anyway, to help you talk, to support you while you're sharing what's gone on/going on for you. Just try not to be afraid, they're there to help. And they should see it just the same as we do, that it matters that you get the help/support you need to start making things a little better for yourself.
And if you want to talk more..........right here...........



Alison