The cloudy days are always the hardest for me, well go figure, I have SAD. But some days (most days) I feel like my own raincloud everywhere I go. I don't want to be around people at all or talk to anyone. I get so intensely depressed for so long that I think the only way out is... And that's why they call it Major Depressive Disorder. Heap a crapload of anxiety on there as well as some almost constant hypervigilance from the PTSD and hey what do you know, that's me in a nutshell.

I'm sorry. It's been a hard day so I figured that posting about what's bothering me (how I'm just so fed up with my life) will help make me feel at least a little better. And I just came from a very difficult therapy session. I feel broken. Utterly broken.
No one wants to be around someone who's depressed all the time and is basically a walking talking duffle bag of problems. I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about. So you put on the facade of happiness all the time. And when you don't do a good enough job people may ask "what's wrong?" Oh I'm just tired. Or, I'm just sad today. "Why?" I have no idea. Don't ask me that. Only normal people have a reason for feeling this sad.

Oh my goodness. What's the matter with me? Why can't I get my life under control?!