i woke up crying from a really sad, sad dream. i'm having a really hard time lately. i feel like everything in my life sucks right now, and i feel like i have nowhere to go to feel safe except therapy. and now i'm moving like 4 hours away from my therapist. how will i deal with that?

i feel so alone, and so sad. my best friend, who i also had feelings for, got engaged and i seem to be disappearing from his life. i can't pay my medical bills. i'm moving to go to school and my rent will be paid with a loan. i don't even have a job up there yet, and i'm leaving a really good job to do this. and i have no savings. i don't know if moving is really the best thing for me right now, but i have to in order to finish my degree. i keep having nightmares because in therapy, i'm dealing with abuse and neglect early on in my life and that's really tough- as many of you know. i am in depression. maybe the worst depression i have ever been in. and i am constantly fighting the urge to hurt myself. the last time i gave in was only about a week and a half ago. but i may end up giving in today. i just hurt so much

i feel so alone.

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-
<div class="foot">(Edited by SweetCrusader on 07/31/04 12:01 PM.)</div>