I did put a password on my phone, but he just gets angry with the idea that I don't want him in my stuff. I change it every time he figures it out. It seems like its a game to him. I don't know if this is an issue that is worth ending a 2 year relationship over, but I'm not sure anymore.

As far as what I'm getting out of the relationship, I don't really know. He's a great friend, but sometimes can be a bit judgmental of my problems. I feel like we could just be friends and I would still get the same satisfaction from our personal relationship, but just the fact of being in a deeper relationship brings me security. Granted I am a very independent person, I like the fact that there is someone that I really care about to spend time with and know that he will always be around for me if I need him to be. At the same time, he doesn't really like to do romantic things.

For example, we'll be looking through facebook together and see one of our friends do an anniversary post. He'll scoff at it and mutter something like, "that's ridiculous." I think that kind of stuff is sweet. Also, just flirting with each other is nice, but he hardly ever does it. He acts so strangely when it comes to that subject, but at the same time, I know for a fact that he wants to be more physical than what I want to be at this point.

I haven't talked to him about the rut that I've noticed, but I'm just really tired of trying to make things work. I feel like I might have noticed a small spark between us when we first met and then I tried to hang on to it so tightly and I tried so hard to make things work, and this is the result. Even when I wasn't depressed, in a deep struggle with my ed, or si, we would sometimes get like this. I know that a relationship isn't always going to be on a high, but at the same time, I don't see why it has to be like a drought when we aren't on a high.

Simply put, I'm tired of being in a relationship, but that is no reason to end one. I'm also tired of trying to fight my ed, so that makes me wonder if I'm just giving up on everything and isolating myself. I'm just in a really bad state of mind right now, and I don't think my judgment is clear enough to make a decision about my relationship with my boyfriend.