Today has been horrible. I feel like a failure and I'm just ready to give up on even trying to get better. I completely binged out on some ice cream when I got home, and when I tried to purge... I couldn't. I've never done it and I know the side effects, but I just didn't care at that moment. Now I feel like a fat lump of nothing sitting on my bed.

I've also been thinking a lot about different ways of self harm and death recently. I don't know if it has anything to do with an antidepressant I was put on or not. I started it on 4/15, but it hasn't even been a week yet that I've been on it, so I don't think that it could have any effects on my mind yet, could it?

Anyways, today has just been really hard, and I'm hoping that the rest of this week doesn't continue like this.