I know what happened and how it made me feel. But sometimes, I can convince myself that I made it up or that it didn't warrant my emotional reaction. It's like the thought that it was real is a slippery thought. It's there in the background until I try to hold onto it and then it slides away and I just feel retched about myself.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? How do you hold onto a coherent perspective? I've experienced gaslighting for years and only now am I able to see it for what it is - until I can't and I lose that perspective. Anyone have any ideas?