Not seeing my family sometimes can get very lonely. I can't go back on it though because I may feel lonely now but I'm not feeling depressed or horrible about myself as they make me feel after spending time with them. I'd rather feel lonely.
But I am feeling lonely. It's not like a had a back up family on hand or even a close friend I could share some time with. I don't get out enough, I don't talk to enough people-I'm scared nobody will like me because of my anger issues that still aren't under control and eventually they seep through and people don't want to be my friend anymore. I'm not good with people. I can be defensive, selfish and boring 'cause I never know what to talk about.

I got a bunch of aquaintances but no friends.
I have no self esteem or very little.
I've been exercising-I'm thinking if I stick with it and I really get into it than maybe I'll join a gym and I can meet people that way. Exercise is supposed to help with that pent up negative energy so that'll help with the anger issues and being at the gym will help with the being alone issues. If I can get past my fear of people.
Also, I'm afraid I'll pay all of that for a membership but then not go, though. I'll see how dedicated I get to it and then decide.
Anyway, I just wanted to express that I'm lonely. I haven't been hugged in about a month. And that was from one of my aquaintances. I miss being around people.
So many people here at PC have families. I mean, their own families. A husband and kids. I don't even have that much. All I have are two stupid dogs.
I'm so pathetic.

Okay, I'm finished blubbering now.