Please forgive me Simon, I'm not so good at expressing myself(- think I missed the childhood building blocks on that-- so I struggle--*sigh*)..... what I meant to say is that, the way your dad deals with things is the way he "knows"...... not necessarily the way that works best for him....

It's odd how people will do things over and over the same way, sometimes even knowing there could be a better way-- but still they do things that can be destructive....maybe it's the familiarity that keeps them "stuck"...

Anyway, I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time-- I've had much alcoholism in my family too-- it can be very upsetting. I do believe that you wish your dad's way was the right way for him..... and I'm sure it's very hard to see that it's not.

Please be sure to give yourself credit for seeing a way that is healthier-- that is a plus on your side.

Thinking of you--

mandy