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Old Apr 22, 2014, 06:05 AM
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brainhi brainhi is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Southeast United States
Posts: 1,107
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladyofshallot View Post
Please tell me if you think i should write to him...am confused...sometimes seems like a good idea to have my say...but knowing i will not get a response even, another way to play around with my self respect...but he needs to know what he's done...he can't go sailing into the sunset....just like that...but then i do know also now it's no longer about him but me...he's moved on and i need to give myself closure...will this be a closure for me...this communication?
.......this is what I posted to you in the "New Member Intro - Forum"...
you will figure out what is best for you..

You are feeling a lot things! Writing here or journaling may help. Get it out of your head. If you try to talk to him, remember you are far from rational right now. I could go on and on about the process of getting over my romance..it would take days. But I did write/email him to work on getting closure for myself..some of the time I did not send the emails and sometimes I did. Not sure if he even read them...but it did help me

I would start out saying "this is probably more for me than for you as I work on healing". We were still trying to hold onto a friendship which made it twice as hard getting over him. But one thing that helped...I love my job and am very passionate about it...so I was able to get some of my needs met at work. Go for walks when you feel like it..volunteer for something when you are ready - could turn into a job. When I was down my brother would tell me to go for a walk...I could not even put on tennis shoes and then would feel guilty about not even feeling like taking a walk...but one day I did. I love to walk to music with the head phones on... I sing I cry I laugh. You find something that works for you.
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“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany

“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge