Hello. This will be a bit long so bear with me. I'm 32. I have severe depression, PTSD, anxiety, panick attacks and other issues. I have health problems as well which make me extremely tired and leave me with no energy. (fybromalgia, hypothyrodism, anemia) Pain is 9/10 at times. Body aches to a point that it's not possible to even explain. Add to that feeling nauseous and just extemely ill. I used to sleep 15 hours a day and stay in bed all day. I have improved over the past 2 years and can now get dressed and walk down the stairs without feeling exhausted.

Here is my problem:

I had to move back in with my parents since I cannot take care of myself. I've been here for 2 years now. I used to live in London and they live in Luxembourg. Moving back to Luxembourg and having all those mental and health issues has been hard enough...but on top of this I have to deal with very controlling parents.
For example, they force me to go to church every Sunday even when I don't feel well. One day I felt extremely sick and my mother pulled me out of the bed, sat me down, took my clothes and dressed me forcefully. I have given up trying to tell them I want to stay home on Sunday mornings bc they just don't care what I'm feeling and they insult me and the insults hurt too much so I'm trying to avoid situations where I get insulted. I would have no problems going if I was feeling OK as I live in their house and the respectful thing to do is to attend their church.

So for the past 2 years I have pushed myself to go to their church. At times I was on the verge of fainting and my body was aching to a point I can't even describe and I felt empty and emotionless and very depressed but I pushed myself hard to still go.

Here's the thing: people at their church do not like me and do not talk to me. We have lunch every Sunday after church and they stay in church and talk until sometimes 10pm. So I'm there all afternoon and have to listen to people talk for 10 hours straight. It makes me extremely tired. I can't cope with conversations very well bc of the depression and illnes. No one talks to me and I have made a lot of attempts to fit in and whenever I try to say something people cut me off or contradict me. People know I am depressed and severly sick yet no one has ever offered to listen to me.

It's very hard for me to stay there every Sunday and spend the whole day there. After 2 years of trying to fit it, I have given up and one day they went to a picnic and I was extremely unwell with panick attacks and I just couldn't take their laughter and snide remarks (they make snide remarks against me all the time and also make jokes about depressed and sick people and everyone laughs) so I went away and went for a walk. It was the first and only time I ever did that.

My parents are the pastors and have preached that people who are depressed are people who don't follow God's word and don't have enough faith.

After this incident, my parents told me they have booked an appointment for me to see en exorcist. I didn't want to go but they forced me to go. The whole trip was a nightmare and I had many panick attacks and was sick and threw up and not once did my parents ask if I was OK. They told the exorcist that I had a horrible attitude and that I don't want to interact with people at their church. They said that I was stiff and uncomfortable in church and that I had a spiritual problem bc I don't want to worship God. I told my parents that my body aches a lot and that's why I'm stiff and my dad replied in the meanest voice that something is seriously wrong with me bc how come I'm always aching everywhere? My mother said she didn't care about whether I'm sick or not. My mother said I was rebellious bc I try to stay home on Sundays. Anyway...they said other horrible things. The exorcist took me in a private room and tried to cast out demons from me. but nothing happened.

My parents know I have health issues as they came to the doctor with me and see me take meds but they seem to not understand how much I'm suffering. I have requested they take me to see a specialist but they have never wanted. I can't go on my own bc I have no income to pay the specialist. I have asked if they could give me money for massages as I'm in so much pain but they don't want to. My mother gives me 50 euros every 3-4 months. They are well off financially and employ one person who helps around the house but they never give me any money. I have only 2 pairs of shoes and 1 boot (which is enough so I'm not complaining) and my mother buys me clothes once or twice a year (that's enough too). They are good with buying food and feeding me (although they buy a lot of fatty foods).

I have tried talking to a social worker and to my psychiatrist but my parents comes to all my appointments so I'm not free to talk. I have requested to speak to them alone but they do not take me seriously.

I have tried applying for government financial aid but they denied me saying I live with my parents and their income is sufficient to take care of my needs.

I'm thinking of finding a job and push myself to work even if I feel extremely unwell. I don't know how I will cope with 8 hours workdays...I am afraid I will faint and have panick attacks and land at the hospital again...

Thank you for reading, advice please???