You have already made the first step by acknowledging you have a problem. You also understand that mixing your medications and taking too much of them is extremely dangerous. Benzo's are highly addictive, they reduce anxiety quickly but the effects don't last long. If a person has ongoing anxiety or other issues they may start to take the benzo more often and increase the dosage, also creating a physical need.

It sounds like you are ready to get help and to get better, to do this you need to not only be honest with yourself but with your NP and doctors. Once they know what's going on they can decide whats the best treatment plan for you.

The 3 C's of Life:
Choices, Chances, Changes
You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.