I think it's good that you are recognizing these traits in yourself (low self esteem, obsession, depression) and that you are keen on addressing them. If I understand correctly, you feel it is self destructive to be updating yourself on your ex's life, and yet you can't stop. Is that what's happening?

When it comes down to it I think this is normal for someone dealing with a break up. I'm so sorry for your pain and how extreme it must be right now. The truth is that it's going to take some time and it's going to be painful but you will come out of this. I'm glad to see that you're reaching out here and I think you're already on the right path towards recovering from your loss, just stay the course now, and keep reaching out!

Feel free to PM me anytime if you are feeling very low and need someone.