I guess it depends on where one was in their life when the relationship started and where one is after the years passed. I personally was relatively inexperienced at many things in life before I met my wife. I had only ever had one boyfriend and three girlfriends before my wife, and the boyfriend lasted ten times longer than the three girlfriends combined.

All that to say that my wife did not expect a lot from me in my 20's. She decided everything, initiated everything...lead the way in life, so to speak. We've been together 18+ years now and we are severely limited in intimacy. She expects me to be romantic to get her in the mood.

We've had long discussions on what she wants, but to tell you the truth...I don't think she knows. I've researched a lot from books and the web on what men do to be romantic with their wives. Additionally I've looked a lot at what wives want from their husbands in the way of romance.

The funny thing is I found out that I have been doing many of those "romantic" things already...but now she doesn't see them as romantic. Some examples:

- I used to bring her a cappucino and toast every morning until she slept in longer and they got cold. She told be to stop.
- I would tell her I love her and that she's beautiful regularly. She told be to stop as the words have no meaning any more.
- I talk with her about her...and I listen. I don't talk about me, I talk about her.
- I ask her to take walks, and hold hands. She says she doesn't like to hold hands because my hands are rough from eczema.
- I take her to dinner, but she only likes to go to one sushi restaurant and only on weekends (they have a better menu). So much for sponteneity!

Anyways, I have to figure out a way to bring it UP A LEVEL as a way to maintain our relationship. Not easy when I'm faced with a wife set in her ways and not a lot of experience in the ways of women.