First I should apologise as I have posted several messages on this general topic (i.e. boundaries) before. My relationship with my entire parental family is strained and difficult. It has been that way for years. The underlying problem is that they want to control and influence every aspect of my life. These days I resist this and try not to respond to their probing questions. However since I have a similar set of problems with all members of my parental family, I often wonder is the problem them or me? I think that I'm struggling to believe that what I have grown up with is not normal. A few days ago my sister texted me. She invited me to a family gathering in a few months time. The time is not convenient for me. I texted back to that effect. But I didn't give a reason. I am not close to my sister. It's a long story. My sister replied wanting to know why I couldn't attend. I replied to say I'd let her know if things changed such that I would be able to come after all. She sent an aggressive text back telling me I was "being secretive" (the stock response used by my mum when I don't tell her my personal business) and stating that she felt this should be enough notice for me to be able to attend... I'm beginning to realise that I don't know what a normal family relationship is. Is this normal?