Quote:
Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid
I think it's good that you are recognizing these traits in yourself (low self esteem, obsession, depression) and that you are keen on addressing them. If I understand correctly, you feel it is self destructive to be updating yourself on your ex's life, and yet you can't stop. Is that what's happening?
When it comes down to it I think this is normal for someone dealing with a break up. I'm so sorry for your pain and how extreme it must be right now. The truth is that it's going to take some time and it's going to be painful but you will come out of this. I'm glad to see that you're reaching out here and I think you're already on the right path towards recovering from your loss, just stay the course now, and keep reaching out!
Feel free to PM me anytime if you are feeling very low and need someone.
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Thanks, but the problem is precisely that I'm NOT dealing with it. It just keeps going and going and I can't stop it, and it triggers anxiety attacks every time I read something new. I know feeling bad is normal, but I can't let go. I choose badly in the first place for many reasons, then when it blows up I go over and over and pour over every detail long after the other person has moved on. Granted, my taste is horrible and I'm not breaking up from normal guys. I get the selfish manipulative and cheating ones. Twice in a row. The first time it took me a year to stop obsessing, and to this day I can't say that I wish him well. This second time I chose an even more awful specimen, so there's more material to be angry over.