Quote:
Originally Posted by Viuam
Thanks, but the problem is precisely that I'm NOT dealing with it. It just keeps going and going and I can't stop it, and it triggers anxiety attacks every time I read something new. I know feeling bad is normal, but I can't let go. I choose badly in the first place for many reasons, then when it blows up I go over and over and pour over every detail long after the other person has moved on. Granted, my taste is horrible and I'm not breaking up from normal guys. I get the selfish manipulative and cheating ones. Twice in a row. The first time it took me a year to stop obsessing, and to this day I can't say that I wish him well. This second time I chose an even more awful specimen, so there's more material to be angry over.
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I guess I would define this painful process your going through as part of "dealing with it", but I do see what you mean. You continue mulling things over and so it doesn't feel like you're moving on or that you can't let go. I empathize with that.
You may be having trouble letting go but I find hope in that you seem to have a desire to improve your situation, you're acknowledging your weaknesses, and you're also talking about it here. These are steps in the right direction! To me at least, it seems like great progress.
If this is too personal you don't have to answer of course, but it seems like you have a low opinion of him now. In that case, why do you think you are still so strongly attached to him?