Quote:
Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid
I guess I would define this painful process your going through as part of "dealing with it", but I do see what you mean. You continue mulling things over and so it doesn't feel like you're moving on or that you can't let go. I empathize with that.
You may be having trouble letting go but I find hope in that you seem to have a desire to improve your situation, you're acknowledging your weaknesses, and you're also talking about it here. These are steps in the right direction! To me at least, it seems like great progress.
If this is too personal you don't have to answer of course, but it seems like you have a low opinion of him now. In that case, why do you think you are still so strongly attached to him?
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Pride. Impotence. Really would like karma to be on my side for once and have something bad happen to him. Anger at myself. Anger at him. I do have a very low opinion of him. He treated me like dirt. But I LET him treat me that way.
Edit: I'm not attached to him the way you would think. I don't miss him as a person, he was horrible. I am afraid of being alone and angry at another failure. But mostly, I am very frustrated that he doesn't feel bad about what he did, and that in all likelihood he won't pay for it, just like the last guy. They just ride off into the sunset without a care, and I am left picking up the pieces for years.