Hi, PC folks. I can't work this out in my own head, I keep going back and forth.

Recently, I made quite a big breakthrough in terms of my life/ way of thinking. Part of this was falling in love (I think, I'm not sure) with my therapist - it felt like I 'grew up', and finally knew what a loving relationship should feel like/ look like. Great. And my T was wonderfully tactful and sensitive towards my feelings, and I don't feel weird going into session. But.

Because love is the way it is, I can't just automatically magic those feelings up for someone else. But I'm fed up of having my head and my heart swivel towards her when I think about what I would like in a partner, so I have been trying to distract myself. I've been flirting with people out socially again, and I've set up an online dating profile, and it just all feels so...hollow. Not in a bad way, it's quite fun for about thirty seconds! Then I get bored. All it is is distraction and I don't want to be that person anymore.

I think I need to stop seeing my therapist, which does distress me. At the moment having appointments with her is a really positive thing and the fact I can't be with her romantically isn't significantly painful as such - it's just irritating - but I've read so many accounts here where the love feelings deepen and deepen and cause untold pain. I'm not up for that. I do love her (in what way I'm not completely sure, but I definitely do love her) but I love myself more, and I can't hang in there trying to do therapy if it becomes masochistic. At the moment all I get are occasional pangs of sadness - but maybe I should pay attention to them?

Even if I worked out that it isn't really erotic love, and it's just maternal transference...well, what good would that do?

Could it be time to move on, and pick up with another T at a later point?