Amelia - I feel like I'm teetering on the brink of where sh.it gets real and it will start to become painful, precisely because of therapy showing me how things are supposed to be and how I can never have them. Not just romance. Friendships, and general human-being-in-the-worldness. I can't do it right. I see that now. I can stop doing it wrong, and ****ing myself up more, but I can't do it right - so I want to leave and not have to be confronted with my own failure at every sodding session.

"If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor" - it's like that saying. I need to forget her and her world and then maybe I can find a way with being content with my own, whilst now being equipped with the knowledge I got from her to keep myself safe. Or something! I'm rambling