I don't fully understand the details of how the insurance thing works but it sounds like a really complicated, difficult situation. I don't think you're being whiny at all. I would be extremely upset too. I'd be hurt and feel like I didn't matter that much to T, even as I recognize that the feeling might not be 100% reasonable. It's such an incredibly personal relationship, it's hard not to take everything about it personally.

I also feel that my T doesn't handle money and payment issues nearly as deftly as she handles the other issues that come between us. It's not that she handles it badly but that she has so much skill in other areas that her slight weirdness about money issues is glaring.

I hope this feels less raw and upsetting in the next few weeks. Is there a way (or would you want to) block off that hour on your non-therapy weeks for something special? Like sitting quietly at a cafe with or without a journal, or meeting a friend or going for a walk someplace you like? The challenge is always to as strict about taking that hour as you'd be about going to therapy.