Dear T,

I wanted you to take the lead but you didn't....don't know why I expected that you might - wishful thinking, I guess. I don't know what you want. I don't know how to go deeper. If I can't connect with my feelings, how can therapy do anything more than to frustrate the heck out of us both??? I *really* want to depend on you but I can't imagine the "how" of it....I want you to be my rescuer but we've determined that won't help and isn't feasible anyways....sooooo you want me to trust you and give up my "I can do it all by myself" attitude but you can't fix it. So how exactly does that work I don't get it.