Although I don't go to AA, I really do believe in many of the philosophies. One is that helping another is an important part of my recovery. One of my friends, J. was my main support person during my first year. I called her constantly and she was always there for me--she put up with a lot of crap. I guess, this is the way I see the world working--that we have to sometimes rely on others and then we "payback" by helping somebody else along the way. In another online support group I was active and I was supportive to many people who were trying to quit drinking and/or quit using drugs. It helped me and made me grateful. It just seems living the first year with somebody is a lot more intense. I know I will need to be willing to tolerate a bit of craziness. And there is a lot more riding on this because if he does not stop drinking our relationship will eventually come to an end. I know part of me is jumping the gun--there is a possibility that he won't stay sober--that he may have to try this several times. It helps to write this out...to let people know about it. Thanks for being here.