Hello and elcome to Psych Central.
It is hard to feel trustful at times but if it affecting your life in a manner you are not happy with sometimes it is better to seek the advice of a professional, to help you navigate the feelings you are having toward a more nurturing and positive realism. Many people have been helped with professional therapy to help them learn to live the life they would want to have and be able to persevere in life. I hoep things get better for you soon. Take care and good day. Soidhonia