Quote:
Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
Posting on AsiaBlue's hug thread has reminded me that I'm totally starting to want physical affection with my T  This is a radically new thing. If I'm having a particularly long and trying dark night of the soul and my defences are down, the image of her there with me sidles into my head. I think about what it would be like to fall asleep cuddling her. Which makes me feel slightly sick with guilt and shame as soon as I feel a bit stronger/ numbed out, and fans the flames of loneliness even more. Then I put it very quickly out of my head.
Can't believe I'm even admitting that. Why can't I be normal and love normal ****ing people who aren't priests/ therapists/ authority figures/ emotionally unavailable manchildren/ insert various inappropriate person here. |
I think you're mixed up about what's normal.
It's perfectly normal to want a relationship with our therapist! Our therapists model ideal humanity: a good therapist seems wise, caring, consistent, focused on us, resourceful and committed. If you didn't feel attracted to that... I'd be much much more concerned. It's like parents- we're supposed to idealize them, then realize we can't marry them, then go seek out equally good partners in the world. Just a part of growin up. Not always easy, especially for those of us who've found we have reason to be in therapy.
Dating may seem unfulfilling atm, but that doesn't mean it'll be that way forever. A good therapist helps us develop the ability for those good connections with others too, and even the longing can help, as painful as it is, because it can motivate us to find that authenticity, as much as possible, with others.
My question would be, what about all the other serious drama between you two? What happened to all of that? Is it resolving??