Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebird14
HI-THis is my first time posting so I am hoping I am doing this correctly. I am divorced with a preschool child. I have been dating my partner long distance who recently just got out of a divorce. He has 2 teenage boys. My partner has met my young song but I will be meeting his boys for the first time soon. He wants me to come visit while my son is away with my ex. I feel like I should go slow and sleep in the spare bedroom. He totally disagrees. We also had talked about a trip that I would bring my son on and all can meet and be fun for all, but I also wanted to stay in our own bedrooms as I just wanted to go slow. This upsets him and he said he feels unwanted and not first. I am just nervous about the teenagers accepting me.. and I also dont want to throw my young child in a room alone too.. even if it is adjoining rooms. He feels the boys understand what goes on behind closed doors so why hide it.. why pretend we are something we aren't. I didnt want to pretend we are just friends or anything but I also just feel nervous about the bedroom when they are just going to be told of me for the first time and then meet me. Who is right? Should I be OK and I am wrong to think the way I am?
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On soemthing like this, I completely am with you about on it. Thing is there is a right or wrong but it depends on the people involved. If you're not comfortable with it, then that is important regardless of his attitude. He should not be pressuring you to sleep in his room if you're not ready for it, period. That's how it should be.
Again, I'm not saying it would be wrong to do so but if it is wrong for you then you need to take a stance on that and be firm, he needs to respect that from you.
I'm not exactly sure this guy is right if that's how he's going to act with you so quickly... and expect you to sleep with him in light of having the children just meet you, and being that he's recently divorced, he sounds quite in a rush to get you in the bedroom with him.
A good partner will go out of his way to accomodate you, not push his own needs on you... Love is sacrificial and giving, not demanding and controlling.