I agree with most of what was said.

I'm also in a place where I'm terrified of my marriage falling apart because of this but I'm learning that by freaking out about that, I am spending less time focusing on making myself better.

I know it's easier said than done, but put yourself first. Be as open and honest with your husband as possible. If you have a therapist definitely bring this up there and ask your husband to come along so you can work together.

It's a terrifying thought to know you could lose someone for things you've done, but you can't force someone to stay either. You can make yourself the best person you can be though - sometimes it will take a lot of work, sometimes it will be easy, but just keep trying. Good luck!