I don't know if this would trigger anything for anyone, because its no singular event but I'm new and still don't really know what to do or how to navigate…anyway, I can't really relax or let myself feel anything without getting really angry with myself to the point that I will hit myself or bite myself. It's gotten to the point that I have bruises on my shoulders…which maybe isn't so bad and I don't deserve to be here. I'm afraid to say anything I'm feeling because I don't want to be attention seeking or self pitying…i just feel like i'm in prison. and i judge everything i do and say, and being here makes me feel stupid and on one hand, i think i need to because before i got here i was starting to feel suicidal in a more serious way than before…I've never attempted so idk maybe its not that bad. i don't want to be full of ****. i think i am.