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Originally Posted by Leah123
My question would be, what about all the other serious drama between you two? What happened to all of that? Is it resolving??
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Thank you Leah, for all your input
Just regarding that last question above - in a way yes it's ok. We have less sessions and I suppose it's a lot more distant than it was before. My trainee-therapist friend disapproves of this because the goalposts changed so suddenly - but hey, I don't pay so what can I do? I don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face, but I am confused because I worry I'm just settling for not-good-enough-ness. And then I worry if I'm too rigid and unrealistic about my expectations from other people (my T said as much a few meetings ago - that I have rigid ways I want someone to 'be there' and if they don't meet that then I get offended and assume they don't want to be near me) hence withdrawing at a rate of knots. I simply can't get it right so it's safer to not do more damage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boredporcupine
I used to have so much shame and anxiety about wanting physical contact from my T, too. It has taken her a long time to persuade me it's just human and normal to want to be comforted like that.
I think you are forming an attachment, and if your T is competent that can be a very healing thing. But it can also be painful.
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Thank you. Yup. Definitely have attachment, have done for ages. It
was healing yes, but I'm not certain it still is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful
Reading this sentence made me feel happy for you.  It's really great that you feel this way. |
Thanks!!
Yes, it is. Hence I'm wary of putting myself in harm's way...
I have been seeing her less this last while. She's pulled back from me overall, whilst still managing to be warm and great in sessions - I think it has returned to a more tightly boundaried therapist/client relationship. Which is good, I know, but...I've had a taste of feeling constantly welcomed and wanted (when the boundaries were very porous, and we were meeting every other day for two hours, with lots of in between session contact, and the stupid motherfu.cking job dilemma, etc) and now this feels like a poor relation.
The bit of me annoyed with her wants to be highly unreasonable and point out that it's hurtful to suddenly make a significant change in how you treat somebody. But it's everyone's choice (I mean not just therapists) to change their boundaries if they are uncomfortable with them, so I can't really say that
