You do have a tough struggle to become your own person. Your mom is way too controlling, and she is not going to validate your attempts to get out from under that control. She will do this for the rest of your life to the extent that she can get away with it. Some day when you get married, she will see your husband as her arch rival. She will micro-manage you any way she can. She will have opinions on every move you make. This can be stifling to your growth as a human being.

Learn to keep your thoughts to yourself when around her. She is monitoring you to see what inkling of independence you might have so she can squash it before it blooms. So don't give her material to work with. You're never going to "talk" her into seeing things differently. Your mom is going to think a lot of your decisions are wrong. That's her privilege. If you feel you need your mom to agree with your decisions, then you'll never really do anything on your own. There is nothing to gain by getting into arguments about what you are going to do 2 or 3 or 4 years from now. Concentrate on what you need to do now.

I thought you were going to a college where you lived away - like in a dorm. That would be the greatest thing in the world for you. It would horrify your mother, but it would be good for you. It does cost a lot of money. If you will commute to college from home, then the good thing there is you will have less debt piling up. If you can possibly get a part-time job, that would be good for you, as long as it doesn't interfere with your school work. During the summer, if you are not in school, then you should absolutely work at anything you can find.

I take it your mom is paying for your phone. If she is, then it is not truly your phone. A sensible mother would not be so intrusive, but your mom is. She is giving you the phone on the condition that she can use it to monitor you. Your best bet is to realize that it is not truly yours and avoid having anything in it that she can use against you. It's not good to have to hide things, but when you're dealing with someone who snoops, that's what you kind of have to do. Explain to any friends that your mom is way too much up in your business and that you have to not give her ammunition to use against you. You have to be discreet. Explain that to your friends. There's things you just can't discuss in front of your mother.

At age 18, your mom really has no right to keep you a prisoner in her home. I don't advocate sneaking out the window. However, if your mom has a rule that you cannot leave the premises without her permission, then you might consider doing some rebelling. It sounds like your mother has you on "house-arrest." That is no way to live.

Your mom has way too much information about everything. Like she knows about your friend having depression. That would be a normal thing to share with a normal mother. But your mom is not normal. From now on make it a point to tell her next to nothing about people in your life. Keeping you isolated from friends is a way of maximizing control over you. It's also a form of abuse.

This is a really tough situation you are in. As long as you are financially dependent on your parents, your mom will use that to control you. It sounds like it will be a few years before you can support yourself. Meantime, keep yourself mentally independent by not sharing thoughts with you mom that she will just argue with you over. Do your best to find some employment. You may be forced to do a little rebelling, which is hard in a family such as yours.