Quote:
Originally Posted by AmysJourney
I punched some pillows and screamed into my mattress. It has helped me a little with the tenseness in my body. Thank you for that suggestion.
Now I feel I am just left with a quiet anger and I might be able to handle that.
Oh I just don't get people sometimes!
It seems because I am not a broken mess on the outside and because I am nice to people and have empathy, it invites a judgment that is just too painful. When somebody questions that my past was "really that bad" because I seem "too emotionally healthy" wow, that hits me like a truck! All the work put into becoming who I am now, all the lessons I had to learn - that is part of my story too. And a judgment like that can destroy all the confidence I had to painfully acquire in a second.
I now know why I am so angry...
And now, like Solepa and Hazelgirl said, this quiet anger I can definitely let stay.
Thank you!
Amelia
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I am so sorry that happened, Amelia.
I had something similar happen when I invited my favorite law professor to a graduation lunch that my parents gave for me. I said something afterward about how well it had gone despite my fears. He asked what I meant and I took what was for me a huge risk and told him that my parents had been incredibly abusive to me growing up. He said that he found that really hard to believe because I was so stable and emotionally healthy and he had met them and it seemed clear to him that they really loved me and were really proud of me. He said it couldn't have been that bad or really abusive. I told him he could believe me or not and I walked away. We had been fairly close before that -- he had invited me to dinner at his house with his wife and kids a couple of times, my H and I had Passover with their family, etc. I barely spoke to him again after that incident. Even now, I feel a little sick to my stomach knowing that he did not believe me.